Black Friday

Many Dutchies will remember that one Saturday in August when not only many other Dutchies flock the roads in France, but many Frenchies as well. Yep, Black Saturday or 'samedi noir' as my friends in Quebec would say. And I did not choose the term 'flock' by coincidence. Oh no. Because to me the behavior of my fellow countrymen looks strikingly similar to that of a flock of sheep. I have never understood why people voluntarily choose to get toasted in their cars, while chewing on a soggy home-made sandwich, with kids screaming in the backseat, and a fuel gauge that is dropping faster than Felix Baumgartner. Surprisingly though, this behavior is not typically Dutch but has all the characteristics of a pandemic. After 'bloody Sunday', 'blue Monday', 'ruby Tuesday', and 'black Saturday' we also have 'black Friday'. The color, debatable I know, is aptly chosen, as it relates to the kind of sheepish behavior exhibited by motorists on that one day in August on the French roads. 

Retailers have picked the last Friday in November as the day on which shoppers can save a lot of money. Or so they say. And it does not fall on deaf ears either as people without giving it another thought come in droves to the shops to buy whatever they can lay their hands on, not always what they need.

It is therefore of the utmost importance to look with a critical eye to the marketing prose retailers pour out over you and not letting them pull the wool over your eyes. And I am not telling porkies either. There is good reason to be vigilant. Sounds like I am exaggerrating things here a bit you think? Well, do not take it from me but have a look at what the Vancouver Sun reported on their website:

"There is mounting evidence that the Black Friday phenomenon is associated with inflating original prices, creating a false sense of urgency among shoppers and encouraging rash decision-making,”

Sounds familiar? I thought so, as the same happens around 'Sinterklaas' in the Netherlands and unlike the proverbial donkey, Dutchies are fooled again around X-mas. However, do not despair as I got a two-step plan that will save you a lot of hardship, and money:

1. Tell the kids the truth. Sint and Santa are all made up. No need to get presents after that anymore.
2. When they do not get the message, because they pretend not to understand as they want their presents or because they are just stupid, go X-mas shopping during the summer holidays. Chances are that the prices are much lower than in the festive season. And there are no queues at the checkout as most Dutchies are stuck on the French roads in their toasters on wheels.  

There you have it. Dare to be the odd one out. To be the black sheep of the flock and choose a different route. 

 

It may feel like you are a lone wolf for a while but rest assured, greener pastures await you...

 

Weed

Since the beginning of mankind humans have tried to lift their feet of mother earth and fly. The Wright brothers have demonstrated that flying does not have to remain a dream by making a successful attempt to do so in 1903. Bleriot took flying to a higher level by hopping across the English Channel in 1909. And Charles Lindbergh gained world fame by being the first human to fly across the Atlantic in 1927. 

 

But before running of to build your own aircraft, I must warn you that it not always ended well. The Wright brothers collected quite a few bumps and bruises over the years when involuntarily dropping from the sky during their attempts, and Lindbergh was found plastered a few times as well. And not because of the booze mind you. Is all this hardship really necessary one could ask. No it is not. There is a better and far cheaper way. Weed. Now, I for one am not a supporter of lighting a split and let it take you to a higher sphere. Not at all. But I have noticed that the attitude towards the use of controlled substance is changing in North America. The state of Colorado has legalized production and consumption of marihuana recently, albeit with a few restrictions attached to it. In Oregon I spotted the sign of what appeared to be a booming industry, much like the 'gold rushes' in the 1800s. Even more surprising to find this in the US with its reputation of cracking down on anything remotely mind-blowing. And Canada seems to be following suit. Where rules and regulations concerning money laundering are very strict, things are far more relaxed when it comes to controlled substances. At least that is what I make of it. There even are places in Vancouver where you can take your freshly produced substance and have it properly cleaned before putting it on the shelf. Herman Brood would have liked this kind of service a lot. 

All good and well then? I am afraid not. Whenever the reigns are loosened there always is the odd person who does not know how to deal with the just acquired freedom, and becomes a nuisance for the neighborhood. I therefore advocate to incorporate a few measures that deal with the negative outcomes of a more liberal soft drug legislation. And it will help immensely when these measures are linked to habits that Canadians are already familiar with. Search no more, as I have found the perfect habit that is well ingrained and that will fit my purpose perfectly. Waste separation. Yep, just using different bins for different waste material. How easy can it be.

And where 'skip it' often has a negative connotation, as in cutting corners, residents in Surrey have given it a positive twist. Not only is it a stark reminder for those who have a tendency to stray from the right path, but also a demonstration of a no-nonsense attitude towards nuisance... 

  

 

Nut-cracker

Unlike in the Netherlands where Sinterklaas, Santa's brother from Spain, has to be dealt with first before you can even think about X-mas, things are different in Canada. With the Thanksgiving turkey devoured and the Halloween decorations back in their boxes it is time to prepare for the Festive Season. Because every year it is difficult to choose when to put up a tree and staple lights to the outside of the house, Surrey Council has felt it their responsibility to find a solution that solves the indecisiveness among their inhabitants. And they did find something ingenious. They have come up with a tree lighting ceremony that will guide the people of Surrey in when to flick the switch of their X-mas lights. Something that would make me feel a bit uneasy though, anticipating thousands of switches being flicked at the same time. It would present a textbook cause for a black out, and how would that look? I for one do not like to be left in the dark. My concerns proved to be unfounded I concluded yesterday evening. The X-mas tree that was erected in front of SFU's Surrey Central campus, and conveniently close to the Central City Brewing Co. as well, did not fall over. Nor did the lights fail to twinkle after the switch was flicked with a dramatic gesture, with the star at the top being the last to shine. And there you have it. Like the star that lured the three wise men to Bethlehem, the inhabitants of Surrey were lured into all things X-messy by the shiny treetop star.   

  










There is one group that cannot get enough of all these mass manifestations. Retailers. With Thanksgiving, Halloween, and X-mas following each other up in rapid succession, they have are on a roll. Were the racks at the entrance of the supermarket lined with pumpkins only a few days ago, all this have been replaced by an abundance of conifer greenery and X-mas thingies. It is good to see that they at least have their priorities in order. Stockings, the bigger the better, are essential as they determine the size of the presents that Santa can successfully drop down the chimney without landing them in the ashes.

 
But let us not forget that although retailers are on a high, it requires a lot of elbow grease to get the shops ready to ride the next commercial tidal wave. I mean to facilitate the wishes and desires of their valued customers. Seasonal change can thus be a real 'ball-breaker'. Or, to stay in tune with the season, a real 'nut-cracker'. 

Something miss P. would not mind at all...

Elections

Surrey has got a new mayor and unlike the backbench wheeling and dealing that preludes appointing a mayor in the Netherlands, this one was voted by the people. Judging by the number of contestants that are mentioned on the billboards at the roadside it is quite a popular job too.

 








Although billboards often are eyesores I must admit, I also noticed their added value in the democratic process. The public use billboards to get their opinion across about a candidate or to make minor adjustments to the election team. And it works. Election billboards thus function as a point of contact between candidate and electorate. All that a candidate has to do is collect the remarks made and adjust the election message accordingly. No need to appear on TV anymore to be subjected to tedious interrogations. How easy would that be for a would-be mayor? 

 






 


Of course it would be handy when members of the public would leave their name and address behind to make it easy for the relevant candidate to check whether the adjustments made are to their liking. For some vague reason this rarely happens though. 

Linda Hepner is our new mayor. And unlike when buying a vacuum-cleaner or a loaf of bread, you do not actually get what was promised on the box I found out. Not that it matters as it is all about the skill-set she possesses and how well she will do on the job, I keep telling myself. An attitude towards elections in general that a friend of mine is trying to make commonplace in the UK. 'Vote for policies, not personalities' is his catchphrase. He has got a point as elections more and more take the shape of stage-plays in which the actors, candidates, are trying to sway public opinion in their favor by offering 'intentions and promises'. And to be honest I would rather go to the theater to watch a stage-play. There the actors are professionals and do not stumble around on stage. Who has forgotten Melkert's appearance on national television in the Netherlands? I have not.

Although I fully support the focus on policies rather than persons, I still have this nagging feeling that I have been duped...

Promise

In the box...

Jack Frost

Winter has descended upon the Fraser Valley. Gently but steadily temperatures have been dropping over the last week to as low as -8 C. Canadians do not think much of it as they are used to thinking in degrees Fahrenheit. And then it is still 17,6 degrees. Luckily Jack gives us a bit of time to get used to freezing temperatures by letting us of the hook the coming week. But do not be fooled, winter is here to stay. Grouse Mountain has fully activated its snowmaking fleet and has blanketed the Mountain. Paradise bowl and Jib Park, I am talking ski-slopes here, were opened yesterday so the Winter Season has indeed started. This begs the question how you can prepare for winter, if at all? Well, you can do quite a bit actually. I have got a few tips to share:

Ditch your shorts: It is about time to consider swapping your shorts for proper trousers. The kind that also cover your 'milk bottles'. I for one have been walking around in my shorts up to this very moment. And I am not the only one at that. However, this is not always a good idea I concluded the other day when I found myself standing at the summit of the Coquihalla Highway in a howling wind and in temperatures that had dropped to -5 C. Got me rather quickly back into the warm embrace of my car. Not many photos were taken there and then.

Prepare your quad: While normally used for trips into the forest to chase bears, get work done on the farm or to mooch around with, quads do come in handy when snow is starting to fall. A few adjustments have to be made though. Like mounting a snowplow at the front and having heated handlebars installed.

Better still, get a snowmobile: There comes a moment when plowing snow is no longer feasible. Do not despair as this is the perfect moment to get your snowmobile out of its summer hiding and have some proper fun. British Columbia is the perfect spot for it as it has lots of space to play in.

 

So with only a bit of preparation and a few minor adjustments it is not that hard to stay out of the grip of Jack Frost. Or to take full advantage of everything he throws at you. 

A word of advise though: As with many things in life good timing is essential. Wait until there is a proper layer of snow on the ground and at least 4 inches of ice in the ditches and on the lakes. Or be prepared to find yourself bogged down... 

Poppies

I have seen a lot of them around these days, poppies. Not the real ones that raise their heads in the fields on a summer's day but man-made lookalikes. Not that I could have missed noticing them. It is hard not to, as they are also sold at the entrance of the supermarket I frequently visit to avoid starvation. Many people walk around with a poppy pinned on their lapel in the run-up to Remembrance Day. A day which is

 







observed on 11 November to recall the end of hostilities of World War I on that date in 1918. As the beginning of 'The Great War' lies 100 years behind us, much attention has been paid to this event in the media. Even more so due to the incidents that took place in the streets of Montreal and at the National War Memorial in Ottawa. Quite a few documentaries about WWI and WWII have been broadcast during the past week on Canadian television in the prelude to Remembrance Day. I for one found the ones titled 'War Story' that History Channel screened the most impressive. Let me explain why. Different episodes of 'War Story' tell the story of an extraordinary military event in WWII where Canadians made the difference. Be it the landing on Omaha Beach on D-Day, flying the Typhoon fighter-plane or capturing the Port of Antwerp to secure a save haven for the Allie's supply vessels. Not in a Hollywood style movie with heroic stories and enormous explosions, but through powerful interviews with men that have actually taken part. Historical footage shot at those very moments graphically shows the horrors of battle. And horrific it was. Purposeful though. Aimed at eradicating Nazi Germany. Something I have great difficulty with is finding a purpose in WWI. Huddled together, standing knee-deep in the mud in trenches waiting for the order to climb out and run into the spray of bullets spat out by German machine guns. Day after day. Madness. 

The poem 'In Flanders fields' by John McCrae is often recited around Remembrance Day, picturing life on the western front near Ypres. One has to bear in mind though that it was written early in the conflict, before the romanticism of war turned to bitterness and disillusion for soldiers and civilians alike. About 10 million military personnel and about 7 million civilians died during WWI. A more 20 million were wounded. Staggering numbers.  

Nowadays a military career is a choice. And like firemen fight fires and sometimes get burned, soldiers fight wars and sometimes get shot. Comes with the job. However, this was not the case way back then. Bar the few that actually chose to join the army. I therefore do have great respect for the men and women who fought in WWI and WWII. They did not have a choice but were drafted into war. 

Like the proverbial donkey we should learn from our mistakes, but we hardly ever do.

So, on a more serous note I would like to urge: 'Lest we forget'...

Sprinklers

Conditions have been rather moist of late to make an understatement. North Vancouver in particular has been experiencing quite a bit of wetness. Not so bad when you always wanted to row your boat through your own street but less desirable when you just had a new wooden floor fitted in your house. I know, wood normally floats and thus can easily be retrieved but it may require running down a hill after it. Very tiring.

And lets be honest, all this misery could have been avoided just by checking out the place to live before buying it. Living close to a river is all good and well in the summer with the sound of the water rippling through the riverbed in the background when sipping on a cold glass of white wine. Until the water comes pouring in through the doors or windows in the winter. More ripping than rippling. Flooding is not unique to Canada either. The UK has its fair share every year. So has the Netherlands wherever people insist in living in 'very-likely-to-be-flooded-areas' close to a river. What do you mean with being unteachable? Things are not always like this though. There even are times and locations where there is a shortage of water. A problem? I do not think so. Canadians have come up with a cunning solution to tackle the issue. Sprinklers. Not just one kind but tailored to the occasion and aimed at getting something wet. Sometimes just for fun but often there is a more pressing reason. Like in the agricultural field. No water, no growth. 'Simples', so to speak.

 

Farmers therefore keep their crops wet from seed to feed. All the way till the veggies are placed on the shelves in he supermarket. I make it a habit to carry an umbrella with me whenever I go grocery shopping. You never know when spraying starts. 

Of course you need to know when it is time to close the tape but that can be learned by doing. Bear in mind though that some farmers have a steeper learning-curve than others. Bumpkins better start with rice, is my advice. Once a farmer has gotten the hang of it, it is time to step things up a bit. 

It could even attract tourist and self proclaimed scientist and thus supplement their income when the seven lean years are upon them. I for one am pretty certain where crop circles come from...

Fall has fallen

After months of nice warm and sunny weather summer is finally over. Not much of a surprise one could argue because according to the climatological agenda autumn has already started on September 1st. Nature however has its own idea about when to start a new season and takes little notice of man-made calendars. I thus only recently noticed a change in the color of the leaves on the trees and in more importantly in the weather.

 








Not very nice when you have an outdoor occupation like being a professional collector of passerby's money. On the other hand, firemen in the midst of fighting a blazing inferno deep down in the forest would be over the moon with a little help from above. 

Not that a bit of heavenly precipitation is an uncommon phenomenon in British Columbia. Not at all. Neither is it a coincindence that Vancouver is also known as 'Raincouver'. Where would that come from?

 


Some people even have settled in Vancouver for that very reason I have been told. This may seem a bit odd at first sight but is very understandable when you have a look at what the 'weather gods' pour out on 'poor earthlings' in other places. 

Like in Calgary, not even that far away by Canadian standards, where Calgarians trying to open the backdoor to go to work last week were in for a bit of a surprise. The door wouldn't open as swiftly as they were used to due to the first snowfall of this fall. Like their fellow Canadians in Vancouver, Calgarians also revert to the good old umbrella. Utilized in their case to fend off the white flakes. Snow that is, not dandruff.   

Let's not despair though as it is not all doom and gloom that accompanies the falling of all. I for one am not subject to mood-swings at all when the sluices of heaven open but can see the positive sides of it. Like no more dust settling on your freshly shined shoes or on your car. Windows are cleaned automatically and need no attention of a cleaner anymore. And with the fall of fall comes the certainty that the fear of getting lost in a 'corn-maze' is totally unjustified...