Vanity at a price

It is said that dog owners resemble their dogs. Or the other way around of course, who/whichever was there first. And I must admit that there is some truth in it. Not only do they look the same but often behave like identical twins too. Undeniably so. And on occasion a lot of truth I dare say. It is a well kept secret that Mr. Putin's dog walks around Moscow very stealthily. Sneaky even. You never know when it pops up in your backyard. And about Sir Churchill it is whispered that he dribbled like his four-legged look a like. Allegedly that is. It thus appears to be the case that men like to surround themselves with things that look a bit like them. A small effort when it comes to dogs as I have just demonstrated. But what about cars? Not often have I come across a driver of an Aston Martin that had the same elegant lines of the vehicle he was driving. Yes, 'he'. Because on many an occasion I have nearly been hit by an elegantly looking car driven by an almost as elegantly looking blonde female. 

So what to do when the funds to purchase an elegantly looking car are as abundantly there as the roles of fat around your waist and wrinkles in your face? Wear a helmet with a dark visor and a corset one could advise. But what is the point of driving up and down the boulevard till your tank is empty when no one can see that it is you? There must be some way to link 'you' to the metal envelop 'you' are in? Don't despair because there is a solution for this problem. It is even made into a nowadays very popular game. Especially at birthday parties of sandals bearing perennial hippies. 'Hints' it is called. A simple way to help the ignorant bystander to figure out what just passed his field of view. 

One can be very thoughtful and help the ignorant bystander by almost spelling it out for him. Thus leaving no room for mistakes.

 

Or one can be a bit more subtle. Although having said that, too much subtlety will leave more questions than it will provide answers I'm afraid.  So I think that a few words of advice are in place here. 

First and foremost, melancholy is never a good theme. 'Au contraire' as my friends in Quebec would say. Lightheartedness is the way to go. And let's be honest, it is very hard to write a ticket and chuckle at the same time. 'Win-win' I would say. 

Secondly, try not to make spelling mistakes. Not only will ignorant bystanders never figure out what it is about, it will also make you look stupid. Who want's that? I know, politicians obviously. But they don't drive elegantly looking cars, their chauffeurs do. Sometimes. So, when you want to indicate that you're from Punjab, 'the land of five rivers', do so correctly.

Last but not least, do never underestimate the lack of humor among traffic officials. Be it an Aston Martin or not, they don't care. Not only will it separate 'you' from your beloved metal envelope, exactly the opposite of what you want to achieve, it will also cost you dearly. But then, vanity has its price...